90-Minute Marriage Check-In
for Christian Couples
A simple, grace-filled framework to reconnect, listen well, and repair quickly — rooted in Scripture and designed for busy Christian couples who want their marriage to reflect Christ's love.
90-Minute Marriage Check-In
for Christian Couples
A simple, grace-filled framework to reconnect, listen well, and repair quickly — rooted in Scripture and designed for busy Christian couples who want their marriage to reflect Christ's love.
Tonight's Flow
- 1Welcome & prayer
- 2Icebreaker — Grace Glimpse (5 min)
- 3Check-In Map — 4 questions
- 4Tool 1 — Speaker-Listener
- 5Discussion break (5 min)
- 6Tool 2 — Repair Script
- 73 Zoom polls + debrief
- 8Rule of Life + commitment
- 9Closing prayer + Go Deeper offer
Icebreaker — Grace Glimpse
Take turns finishing: “This week I saw God's grace in you when…”
- ✦Husband shares · 90 sec uninterrupted
- ✦Wife affirms · “What I heard is…”
- ✦No fixing. Just noticing grace.
A Cord of Three Strands
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12
Your marriage isn't two strands trying harder. It's three — you, your spouse, and Christ at the center.
Check-In Map
- ✦Appreciation — “One thing I appreciate about you as my spouse in Christ is…”
- ✦Pressure — “One pressure I'm carrying right now is…”
- ✦Desire — “What I most desire from us this month is…”
- ✦Prayer — “How can I pray for / with you this week?”
Quick to Listen
So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
James 1:19–20
The heart of the Speaker–Listener tool — Christ-like listening that turns conflict into connection.
Speaker-Listener
One voice. One ear. Christ-like listening.
- ✦Speaker: “I feel ___ about ___ and I need ___.” One thought. Short.
- ✦Listener: Paraphrase — “So you're feeling… Did I get it?” No rebuttal.
- ✦Switch roles. Pray briefly: “Lord, help us hear well.”
Discussion Break
- ✦Prompt 1 — Appreciation: “This week I saw God's grace in you when…”
- ✦Prompt 2 — Pressure: share one pressure; spouse paraphrases back
- ✦Prompt 3 — Desire & Prayer: one thing you desire this month + “How can I pray for you?”
Our Marriage Uniform
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.
Colossians 3:12–14
Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness — and over all these, love.
Repair Script
When tension rises, repair quickly. Say this together:
- ✦“I'm feeling flooded. Can we pause? I want to love you well.”
- ✦“When we come back, I'll own my part: ‘I was wrong when I ___. Will you forgive me? How can I make it right?’”
- ✦Pause 20 min · No score-keeping · Re-enter with prayer
How often do you and your spouse have a meaningful check-in?
Launch this poll from the Zoom polling panel, then share results on screen for a 2-minute debrief.
What's the biggest pressure on your marriage right now?
Launch this poll from the Zoom polling panel, then share results on screen for a 2-minute debrief.
When tension rises, how quickly do you usually repair?
Launch this poll from the Zoom polling panel, then share results on screen for a 2-minute debrief.
Your Weekly Rhythm
- ✦☀️ Daily 2-min — Morning touch + blessing: “Today I'm for you. How can I help you love Jesus well?”
- ✦📖 Weekly 20-min — Check-In Map + one Tool. Phones away. Bible open. Pray to close.
- ✦🎉 One Fun Moment — One shared laugh / walk / coffee this week. Joy is warfare for Christian marriages.
Keep the Conversation Going
- ✦What's one way I made you feel cherished this week?
- ✦Where do I feel distant from you / from God right now?
- ✦What's one ‘us’ decision we need to make prayerfully?
- ✦How did we see God's faithfulness in our marriage this week?
Go Deeper — Coaching with John & Pat
Tonight is the beginning. If you'd like guided, personalized support, we offer two ways to keep the rhythm going with us. Sign up at YesMarriageWorks.com.
One-on-One Coaching
Private sessions tailored to your marriage's season — communication, conflict repair, or rebuilding closeness. Includes a personalized Check-In plan and follow-up between sessions.
- • 60-minute sessions (in-person or Zoom)
- • Customized tools & homework
- • Text check-ins between sessions
- • Dates & times arranged to fit your schedule
Sign up at YesMarriageWorks.com
Group Coaching
A small-group journey with 4–6 couples. Live sessions, guided Check-Ins, and a community walking the same path together — anchored in Scripture.
- • 60-minute group sessions
- • Session topic worksheets + lifetime handout access
- • Private couples community
- • Dates & times to be determined
Sign up at YesMarriageWorks.com
Yes, Marriage Works, Inc. is a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit — coaching fees may be tax-deductible.
We will put on love — even when it's hard — and invite Jesus into the middle of our check-in.
Thank you for joining us. We're praying for your marriage.
Yes, Marriage Works, Inc. · YesMarriageWorks.com